Hello Mid-Life
You can't escape it, but you can navigate it.
Today I am sorting out what topic to focus in on and to be honest I think all of them belong in todays post. I have found myself having conversations with other women in there 40s, those in the beginning, middle, and end of the 4th decade and a common theme emerged. We all are struggling with how your body changes. I think women in general women have more conversations with female friends and family members about life experiences. Conversations around changes that happen to your body as you travel through the decades, and what you thought life would be like, and what life looks like now based on some preconceived ideas.
Lets first begin with what is this extra lump, bump and jiggly thing on my body? What happened between 40 and 45? Well, one day I looked in the mirror after trying on some work clothes and realized that they no longer were just a little tight, they were too small. I was instantly depressed, I felt like I wasn’t paying attention and I had gained about 20 pounds from the very consistent weight I managed in my 30s. I was always within 5 pounds for so long'. All of a sudden, well not all of a sudden it happened gradually when I wasn’t paying attention. I was now looking at a body in the mirror that was reflecting back to me the reality of not paying attention in your 40s….mostly because I never thought I would be in the well established very few get a pass on “welcome to your 40s, your metabolism hit bottom” group. I never had a weight problem, never had to diet. If I thought I gained a little weight, I would have one less glass of wine and one less bite of something or just say “oh I need to drop 5 points”, and no joke it just fell off. I always felt that I was lucky and never took that for granted, well I thought I never took that for granted, but in reality I had.
I have a degree that educated me on the ins and outs of personal fitness, nutrition and navigating a journey of self improvement…..for other people. I know how to talk to others on their journeys, how to pace one’s self, set realistic goals, make life changes and work towards wellness and not an ideal number on the scale. Reminding others that negative self talk can send you into a tailspin and how you can be your own worst enemy. However, I did not afford myself that same grace when I was the one who was faced with a weight loss (wellness) journey.
There were many times around 45 that I tried to get my butt up and to the gym or to turn on this great YouTube site I found with lots of great inspiring workouts. I would start and then I would get a string of migraines. I suffer from migraines so getting them day after day for a week sometimes is an occurrence and I was trying to determine all my triggers for them at the same time I was looking to get my body back from the black hole of 40s body despair. I took on all those things all at one. What are my new triggers to my migraines besides what I already was aware of? What is wrong with my body and metabolism? Why can’t I loss weight, why can’t I get this all sorted out… All those things were running through my head all at the same time and it was not a good place to be. The negative self talk was not helpful. I would say things to myself I would never want a friend to say to themselves. I was not kind and I needed to snap out of it. All the while I had changed jobs and was figuring out my place in a new organization, and how I was going to make an impression and be a success. Let’s just say that is still an on going journey and more to come on my career another day.
The new job came with the perk of working from home. I am someone who always will say, working from home is not for everyone. For me working from home is an amazing perk, and I respect the fact it is not available to everyone and I have no problems staying focused and getting my work done. I found the opportunity to focus on cooking as much as possible for myself, educating myself on fats, sugars and what they do to the body. I started eating when I was hungry and embracing the freedom to do so….I no longer technically had a lunch break at a certain time, I could eat whenever I wanted and it really started to have an impact.
When I switched out nonfat milk for full fat milk, increased my egg intake, replaced sugar with a combo of regular sugar, coconut-palm sugar and never using chemical sugar substitutes, preparing most meals myself, something happened to my body. Before I dig into that some more let me be clear, I have been a pescatarian ( ovo-lacto-vegetarian that also consumes fish and seafood) for over 25 years. I also have been buying organic and whole foods as much as possible for a very long time, and I stopped consuming artificial flavors and sugars when I determined them to be a migraine trigger about 8 years ago. I mention this because I was not starting at zero with a shift in my dietary habits, I was rather building on that foundation I had built.
Back to the recent changes I made that really started the shift to reclaiming by body. At that point I had not added much exercise I was focusing on the diet change. I want to stress I did not go on a diet, I changed/adapted my daily diet to be more whole, unprocessed, and real based on the needs of someone over 40. As you age you need more protein, its a fact. You need balance in your diet, which also means, YES CARBS, you need carbohydrates, fats and proteins. When I made these changes I was full and satisfied longer, and I didn’t find myself snacking as often, and I seem to eat 2 meals a day, sometimes 3 depending on when I had the other 2 meals. I didn’t intend to only eat 2 meals on some days, it just happened that way. I also know that eating is a key ingredient to losing weight and keeping the body going, so good food choice is key….real foods, not artificial or low fat junk.
So, once the food habits were fully formed I was presented with a “step challenge” at work with my co-workers…..I had to force myself to do it because I wanted to get my body moving. I was going into the challenge feeling defeated already because of the previous attempts to get moving have fallen flat with no successes. My co-workers were supportive and told me to do what I wanted and convert the exercises to steps. Because I had options in this step challenge I decided to start working out at home with some hand weights and the YouTube site I enjoyed. After about 2 weeks I was onto something, the exercises I was doing was beyond just cardio, I was adding weights for toning and building muscle as a focus and was hitting the gym. I started to see some little results which just kept be going. By the end of the challenge I had lost 10 pounds from when I started my diet change to the end of the step challenge (probably around 3 to 4 months combined effort). This was an example of slow and steady progress.
Since the challenge ended I have been continuing on my journey. I have settled into 3 to 4 times a week exercise that always involves some weights and I have weeks I may not get to anything other than a 10 to 15 minute weight session while watching some Netflix (hand weight, weight ball, that’s it, simple). I just told myself its okay to not be on a schedule, just move and have that include weights to keep muscle mass in check. The decline in my muscle mass was the reason I no longer could just drop 5 pounds by thinking and changing one thing in my diet for a week or two. I had to put forth some real effort to reclaim my body.
After starting this journey I have successfully dropped about 16 pounds and I am happy with that. I have clothes that fit better, clothes that fit again, and I feel like I am in control. I didn’t decide to reclaim my body from mother nature because I wanted to look like I did when I was 30. I wanted to just feel better in my own skin. If I would have only dropped 5 pounds, but ended up feeling better that would have been great. Having lost more weight it was the whip cream and cherry on top of an already great bowl of ice cream. As for ice cream, I sure do still eat ice cream, and amazing deserts. I do not restrict anything, but I do make sure what I consume is real, unadulterated food and its a treat, not an everyday thing. I am lucky that I do not crave sugar and can easily take a couple bites and be satisfied.
While on this journey I have been also reflecting on how time just flies. I stopped and thought I am 47 years old and I still have to be kind to myself everyday. I realized that when you are 20 you have ideas about life and what it will look like. That idea may not become reality and things do not actually turn out the way you thought. I understand that my life is what I make it and that is what is important. You can dwell on the what was, what is, or what could be, and never enjoy the present. Take in every moment and cherish them. Understand your life is what in front of you, and it also is what is behind you, but that does not define you…..take control and look ahead.
If you find yourself wondering what now after a career change, or life change, or a body reflecting back at you causing you to wondering when did this happen, you can take control and steer this life ship in any direction you want. Enjoy the journey, even the moments you wished you could erase, they made you who you are, and that is the human experience we all share.
